What happened to US? What will happen next?

June 30, 2013, 6:59 am and it's past midnight somewhere. A day before the 19th month I suppose to add to the counting months since the last day I saw you. Maybe you are thinking that I've forgotten you because I opted not to respond but honestly I was so happy that day when you finally tried to call me. Kahit papaano pala naaalala mo pa rin ako. Just because I didn't respond doesn't mean I don't care at all. Sa totoo lang, kahit babad ang isip ko sa sunud-sunod na pagsubok na hinaharap ko ngayon, there is always a space in my mind reserved for you. Regardless if I am happy or not there is always a part of me that misses you every day. I'm getting close to another chapter of my life and I may never see you again when you get back. This may be hopeless but let me say it anyway "Until we meet again."

Hindi sya modernong ina, hindi marunong magtext, gumamit ng computer actually puro pagtawag lang sa telepono ang alam nya. Madalas syang maingay sa umaga at 'pag hinahighblood high pitch din ang boses nya. Pero walang katumbas ang ngiting dala nya, minsan tawa pa nga 'pag nakakakuwentuhan ko sya. Kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataong pumili ng Ina sya pa rin at wala ng iba. 'Yan ang nanay ko, si Nilda Barana Avila.

Here's an Ice Cream cake for the sweet love you unfailingly giving me and a greeting card containing the words I may not always say. I love so much! :)

Pahabol sa Mother's Day. Happy Mother's day to all the Moms out there.

Heartbreak Medley

We hurt so much because we have lost a part of ourselves.  If we have loved much, we must 

have given much also (I must have not), and when everything's over, we feel as though we have lost everything.

natural lng nmn nararamdaman mo, wag mo madaliin pero ang importante alam mo kun ano ang reality :)

at least meron kang love gawin mo n lng positive yun energy... maganda yun feeling na in love, nagiging negative lng sya pag nagkakaroon na ng deep longing :)

I can cry over you for nth times but it wont change the reality that you were never mine. I was yours that's the case. If leaving is another way of letting go then I should leave the world I created for you like Cinderella who has to escape from a glamorous ball. But no worries I had the greatest fairy tale in my entire life with you, only I don't have any glass slippers to give you a trace only letters were all I have left to you. This can be the hardest thing I have to do but I wish you all the best! Just be happy and I'll find happiness along the way.

Comforted by discomfort

I've been dealing with a discomfort in my throat causing me to cough so hard for almost three weeks now. Yes! I bet people who know me will be saying "That's what you get for taking your health on a limb with your bad habits!" I know I know I'm such a hard-headed thing here and I am not complaining about my condition, I never did. I admit, I'm responsible of taking care of myself (my health in particular). I'm just sharing an overwhelming experience out of the discomfort I had recently.

I just can't contain this gratifying feeling when most of the people around you care more than you care for yourself. Though, oo kailangan mong makarinig ng sermon at pagbabawal (the part I hated most) dahil likas na matigas ang ulo ko, you'll know that those people really care for you and that's another way of showing it.
I'm getting too dramatic again here, pero ito yung drama na punung-puno ng kaligayahan. I want everyone to know how much I appreciate everything and this is the best way to do it since I'm not too expressive on saying thank you personally.

What touches me most is this conversation between me and one of my superiors whom I didn't expect to be so thoughtful enough to send me a message via ST last Thursday shift (maybe my cough was at its loudest range so he noticed me.)

Though I usually joke on my reply to make it seem like wala akong pakialam hehe I really appreciate it. At sobrang nakakagaan ng loob lalo na nung kinamusta nya kung okay na ang pakiramdam ko the following day :) that's very kind of him. I shouldn't be bragging this but I can't help it, I was deeply moved emotionally as a subordinate  :D

Maraming maraming Thank you Beans :)

And to my officemates/friends (Rej, Imee, Joben, Merrich and the likes) na daig pa ang gwardiya sibil sa pagbantay sa akin, who almost chain me up on my seat para iiwas ako sa bisyo ko. Sa lahat ng sermon at pagbabawal nyo Salamat :) hehehe Isasama ko na rin si Nathy sa mga nagbabawal sa akin, who is probably upset now because I didn't give a damn to reply on her text messages yesterday. Sorry 'Te if I am not able to confirm and kung hindi kita nasabihan na ngayon sana tayo lalakad :(

Maraming salamat sa inyo! I'm still medicating but I feel much better :) and excited dahil dalawang pasok na lang makakapagpahinga din ako ng bonggang-bongga. It has been three weeks in a row that I hated Wednesday because of some dilemmas but now I look forward to that day because my VL starts on Wednesday.

Blindfolded glimpses

There are times when you'll think of the worse thing to happen so once you get there, you'll feel less pain. Someone called it as "defense mechanism". It works most of the time but there is a certain point when it wont. And you'll find yourself feeling worst than you expected. Though you know that you have no control of the situation in the first place and defeat is on the way, you will still feel bad especially if you put all of your hopes along with that anticipation. You'll really learn things the hardest way and you have to get through a very painful process to become tougher. You just have to let everyone misled by your smile and let them know that you're doing fine when you feel otherwise.

In life you'll experience borrowed chances and a glimpse of how beauty it is to share moments with someone really special. But you wouldn't have any possession of those borrowed chances nor stare of the moments you've shared. You can only keep the memories that you have to leave behind as soon as you can to move forward. This is for you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Flying high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you.