Last night I had another moment of anguish. I thought I had shed enough tears to become numb but another sighting revealed what my current state is. I am still hurting. How can I endure this endless disturbing strain? I can’t even complain nor even disclose your name. I know I should be ready for this thing to happen, be ready to accept what you've chosen and decided. For I chose to not show you how much you mean to me. I chose to not let you know how much I need those hugs and kisses. I don’t want to spoil myself and get used to. Someday you will understand everything. You’ll understand why I have to do things that will make you feel that you are worthless and unappreciated but honestly it’s the other way around. I‘m just not brave enough to fight for what I feel for you for the reason that someone else holds your heart. I let my thoughts hidden in silence because I rather hurt than make things complicate you. I guess I will never have a chance to say that I loved you. I really do.